who is cynthia?
<<February 6, 2002 - 3:42 pm>>

the idea | about me | pic | profile | dream journal

Since I mentioned my miserable childhood, I thought it might do well to finally explain my title for this site. See, my childhood wasn't all too great. So.. I resorted to the existence of an imaginary friend. Her name was Cynthia. I called her Cindy for short. But Cynthia wasn't just my imaginary friend. She was my imaginary twin sister. I had hopes and dreams of being adopted and one day finding my real mom who still had my twin sister. Strangers would very often tell me that I looked familiar, and I would credit that to the happening that they've met Cynthia, and so that would confirm my fantasy that she's really out there. Dealing with repression, I couldn't wait to finally get a diary so I could pour out everything that I kept bottled up. Once I got one, I would write to my twin sister in it, finally having someone to connect with. And each diary entry started out:

Dear Cynthia,

So why the name "Cynthia" in particular? I dunno. It just seemed to fit. That's like asking me why I named my cat "Anastasia" or the lovely pink bear my honey gave me for no reason at all "Chester." I do things like that. I'll look at something in need of a name, a certain name will pop up out of nowhere, and it will just stick for me. Nothing else would fit better for me than that first name that popped in my head. So Cynthia stuck. And then one day I looked in a baby name book and saw that it meant, "Bringer of Light." So I thought the name turned out to be quite fitting. And I told Cynthia that I hoped writing to her would bring me light (or insight) into my different struggles so that I can understand and make sense of it all. That is, after all, the whole purpose of me keeping a diary.

And now that everyone's lost interest in my diary anyway, I'm sure they'll be glad to know that I've finally disclosed just what the hell "Dear Cynthia" is all about.


"Grab your things, I've come to take you home..."

who am i?

name: danielle [dani, miss d]
age: 22
sign: virgo
up to this point: Grew up in Tampa Bay with my brother and divorced mother. Mother later re-married. Spent all 13 years of grade school [K-12] in two different catholic schools. Father died when I was in 7th grade. Spent my high school years in love with someone who eerily reminded me of my father and filled that void. Went to college in Miami to try to be with him. He didn't follow and broke up with me two months into my freshman year. Worst heartbreak ever. Still recovering. 'Had a wild freshman year, got married middle of sophomore year and moved to Orlando. Hated it, came back to FIU. Troubles with the husband, we were separated a bit, and I ended up going out and falling in love [all over again] with this fantastic guy, who's Haitian. I wasn't ready to deal with certain things so I cut it off pretty abruptly. We lasted three months.
current situation: working at FIU Library. Fall Semester started. Husband and I are separated. It's a very good thing.
i melt for: heath bars, heath bar ice cream, almost ANY ice cream, toffee, Starbucks hazelnut frappacino, macaroni & cheese, pesto sauce. [not anymore! unfortunately, but fortunately, I'm on atkins now, so none of that for me..]
unique: the left side of my chin has been partially numb ever since I had my wisdom teeth pulled. Some things I won't feel at all, like toothpaste or drool or milk dripping down the side of my chin, but, thankfully, I'm in the habit of checking.
guilty pleasures: I'm a sucker for reality dating shows. [Elimidate, Blind Date, 5th Wheel, Shipmates.] Add to that all the good TLC shows. BIG sucker for those now..
most desired superpower: telepathy-- talking just gets in the way.
trivia: whenever I update this entry, I use diaryland's search function and look for the words: "miserable childhood."
more photos:
with glasses
me + hunbun

click to find out more-->



step back - push forward


-January 16, 2017
ChicagoMarch 19, 2011
ok i will say something elseSeptember 24, 2006
i still love youSeptember 24, 2006
reaching outJuly 16, 2006