yay. is it thundering? i think so..
it almost felt as if i've traipsed upon an alternate universe today. now, with the thunder, a crumbling, unstable universe. first i noticed a building on my short walk to work that i could have sworn i'd never seen there before. i even pondered that maybe they put it in over the weekend. it was one of those portable buildings. but it had full-grown bushes around it already..
and then.. on my way back from work, i noticed some palm trees in a circle. i literally stopped in my tracks and did a 360, looking up at the trees in wonderment. again, i could have sworn they've never been there before. i even took a glance at the base of the trees and it indeed looked like there was some fresh mulch on the ground around them. but still.. something just didn't seem right.
and then i was just stuck in between. were these things new, or had i just gotten so used to my surroundings that i just completely forgot they were there..?
i dunno. i don't feel fully ready to follow through with this thought. because i had an unsettling dream last night. it lingered with me all throughout today. i took some sleeping pills last night because i had been having trouble falling asleep lately. which, i might add, is ridiculously unusual for me. and.. of course, being me, i always have to double the recommended dosage. i get impatient, i dunno.
so.. well, i fell into a really fucking deep sleep. really deep. and, in my sleep, i feel like i've almost tapped into the core of my subconscious. i woke up so many times in my dreams [dreaming that i woke up, not actually waking up] that by the time i got to my last one, i was sure it was so real.
i don't remember how i got to jaclyn's. but i did eventually. dan musta disappeared, don't remember seeing him anymore. unless he faded into the background. jaclyn's mom was still with her step-dad, carl. he was an anal neat-freak at the house. picking up after everyone, doing little things to straighten up. there was something i did.. i can't remember what, now.. but he had to go and fix it up. because i didn't do it right or neat enough.
but anyway. all that's not the point, i don't think. here it comes. jaclyn did my hair up really nice. so i went to look at it in the mirror. but as i was doing so, i noticed something really odd:
my face was falling off.
like, the layer of skin was detaching from the tissue underneath, and.. though the blood kept it a bit sticky.. gravity was pulling it down. looking in the mirror, i was trying to push the skin back up, press it in, make it stay. but this was serious. it wouldn't last for long like that. so i walked out of the bathroom, hands in front of my face, trying to hide my deformity. i was looking for some help. i found my mother in the house and i took her aside. i put down my hands and showed her what was happening. she looked at it for a minute and was calm. and then she said, "okay.. let's get you to a doctor." and she discreetly led me out of the house so we could go to the hospital...
so far i've got face -> identity -> mask.. i don't know what else..
my brain is tired. shoot me, i'm giving up on this entry. [for now.]
LJ