if the sun refused to shine, i would still be loving you..
mountains crumble to the sea.. there would still be you and me..
that song hit me like a.. brick wall.. yesterday, while driving on the highway. it reminds me of my first love. i don't know if it was one of "our songs" but.. it conveys a feeling that i only really knew the first time around. after that.. after getting hurt.. you tend to hold back on things. which sucks, but.. and then you really wonder if there is such a thing as loving someone "forever".. or, do you have to just give up one day and finally settle..?
me, i'd rather be alone than settle.
i've broken two hearts. one of which, i broke his heart twice. it gets easier each time, breaking up. and it gets easier to fall out of love.
except for when your dreams haunt and confuse you.. i keep dreaming of a man i don't want to love. a man who was just for fun. but.. for a man i don't care about, i sure used to dream about him a lot.. and now i'm dreaming about him again. the last day i saw him, he kept saying my name, while talking, while saying goodbye for the summer. it affected me. because, all this time it's something that he would rarely ever do. why say my name now?
fuckhead.
he hesitated to tell me, as he was cracking up one time , that i "looked black" just a moment ago. something with the way i was talking and my head motions. and he's a black guy, so he would probably know.
and he said, "that's a new side i've never seen of you before.."
oh. interested in my sides now.. well, there are many sides he's never seen, i should've told him.
i am quite multi-faceted.
LJ