coffee and cigarettes
<<August 19, 2004 - Thursday, 1:29 pm>>

i was just thinking.. coffee and cigarettes is something i've had for a very long time. it's a tradition. a morning routine. there isn't a better way to start the day.

at school, i would pour my brewed coffee into my Wild Bean travel mug [from the bp connect i used to work at in orlando] and walk on campus with my cigarette and my mug, stopping to finish and enjoy on a bench just before i head in to work.

in chicago, before i would head out to take the train, i would go into ennui, a coffee place, and smoke and sip coffee at a table. oh, the joys of smoking inside a building that i can't enjoy in florida..

and here, one of the first things i do is heat up some coffee left sitting in the coffee pot and go out onto the porch and smoke my cigarette with it..

it will be a hard tradition to break.. because i enjoy it so much. a reason why i wanted to see that movie, coffee and cigarettes, when i found out about it from dan's LJ.

but one day i will..

...

jude was in my dream again. he had a drug for me. it was an herb of some sort. and it got in my mouth. and there i was.. tripping out and hallucinating, even, in my dream..

and then my baby was in another dream. it seems weird to call him my baby since he is five years older than me, but my brain seems to want to do it anyway. it was a little odd, the dream. as if it was a scene of going back in time. we were younger. he was still with his last ex. my brain had her as chubby with long brown curly hair. and i saw him. but i didn't know him yet. and it was as if my brain was telling me now that i had seen him before i met him. or something..

and i looked at him, knowing something.. but then not really knowing anything at the same time.

just that weird feeling you get when you see a stranger and there is something very familiar about that person.

i dunno.. my brain likes being fanciful sometimes..

just like now. while out on the porch, i was SURE i heard my mom coming home for lunch. i heard the front screen door slam, as it usually does. i heard her voice. and i even heard the kitties, with the bells on their collars, running around.. because she usually lets them out of my brother's room to roam around when she comes home for lunch.

but when i went back into the house, fully expecting to spend some time with my mother.. the house was empty and still. i was confused. i looked out onto the driveway. no car. no one here..

huh.

LJ

step back - push forward

dearcynthia}}




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