disinclined
<<October 17, 2004 - Sunday, 10:59 pm>>

how did we get here..?

both of us graduated from high school. 'never thought we'd see the day. it's been another 4 years since, for me. 'should've been graduated from college now. what am i doing here? do i have to stay? i don't want to stay.. i'm just visiting..

brother still living with the parents. attempted college, didn't fare too well. went bankrupt. they tell me he hasn't been too happy.

what about me? i'm moved out. it's not home anymore. don't even have my old room. living on borrowed money, borrowed time. i'm still married but separated. what am i doing married? how is it that i'm married and i have a boyfriend? what kind of life is this..?

what do i think i'm doing? just where do i think i'm going?

i don't know how to plan when life is so unpredictable. i want it unpredictable, though. don't ever take that away.

formulas for forecasts piss me the hell off. it goes against my very nature, my very soul.. the concept is incomprehensible to me. but people need to know their expected values. and perhaps they're better off. i still won't understand it.

LJ

step back - push forward

dearcynthia}}




Lately:
-January 16, 2017
ChicagoMarch 19, 2011
ok i will say something elseSeptember 24, 2006
i still love youSeptember 24, 2006
reaching outJuly 16, 2006