wow.
i'm not naming names, but.. what do you do when your roommate, also your best bud, is cheating on his girlfriend, who also happens to be your other roommate?
apparently, you stick by him and keep quiet.
but what happens when shit breaks out..?
...
it's been a pretty icky day. i felt sick upon waking. but i had to go to class for a group presentation. even though what i really wanted to do was stay in my bed. i have a hideous cold sore on my face again, and i also don't like going out, trying to face the world, like this.
i stopped by work to fill out my time card this morning. zukina was there and i told her how awful i was feeling. she was full of concern and full of suggestions as to what i should do. she really recommended not going to class, but i really didn't want to flake out on my group members and just not show up. so she suggested calling my group members, getting in touch with my professor, she said i should do this, she said i should do that.
i tried some of the things she said, but nothing worked out and eventually it was time to catch my shuttle.
i also saw a message was left for me from the SG's mom. i don't know how the woman tracked down my work number. i guess it wouldn't be too hard, but it suggests she's desperate for something. i confided to zukina that i don't know why this woman keeps calling me. i told her it's my separated husband's mother and he won't talk to her, wants nothing to do with her, and i don't like being put in the middle of it. again, she was full of suggestions as to what i should do. why was she so ready to tell me what to do today..? in some ways, i did appreciate it, though. one of my bosses, steve, overheard me talking about it, and i truly wonder what he thought of it. they probably don't realize so much that miss danielle has her own drama to deal with. they never hear much of it and i'm usually very cheerful and easygoing.
the presentation went okay. i wrote out my notes, which is something i don't normally do. i found myself projecting my voice pretty well and enunciating quite nicely. however, i was cut short because i was the last to speak and some of my other group members took an unusually long time. i didn't mind being cut short at all, though. 'worked for me. he's a lazy professor and announced that he gave all the groups an A for their presentations.
i feel unwell, though. something isn't right. my equilibrium is disrupted again. i worry how much more i can live off this borrowed money, borrowed time. i shouldn't be here. this isn't home.
as i was walking out of the library to catch my shuttle, jude was walking in, and he stopped to tell me that he brought in the video of smallville he taped from last wednesday. cute that he remembered. i just gave him a thumbs up, and i hope a smile, and continued walking. i worry that my reaction may have seemed a little weird and rude. but i wasn't feeling well and hopefully he understood.
*sigh*
i don't like being alone. i guess it takes me a few days to adjust to it again. after a wonderful weekend of holding my baby, seeing his beautiful face, hearing him talk when he's right next to me.. kisses on demand..
it's a lot to do without.
LJ