i was supposed to sing in a band.
it was at some kind of community assembly center. some kind of community event was going on. i was the new singer in the band, as the old one quit. but something happened.. i don't remember what, exactly. something draining, disappointing, exhausting had just happened.. something to make me lose confidence in my voice and my ability to perform. so, while i was in another room, i heard them start playing the first song, the song that the girl singer doesn't sing, just the guys in the band. and i started to fill with dread that, no, i'm not ready to sing for the first time in public right now.
a friend, a girl, was standing next to me and saying, "hey, aren't you supposed to be out there with them right now..?"
i was contemplating it. i was thinking maybe i just wouldn't show up in the other room, and they'd have to figure out something to do without me. but then, i have a problem with letting people down, and i couldn't just flake out on them like that, so i figured the best i could do was just try for them. sing for them, and for me, even though i really don't feel like it.
so i headed over there with this friend. there were lines of people everywhere. as soon as i entered that room, though, i saw jaclyn, and she waved to me excitedly. she had short pinkish-orange hair. she was there to sing with the band, and i was relieved.
and as soon as she started singing her first song, i was like, thank god... because i never would have remembered the words.
LJ