Hello there.
No, I haven't died. But I have moved. I no longer live in the dorms. I am still in Miami, however. In an apartment. With some friends. Indefinitely, it seems..
Anyway, the reason I haven't been updating isn't because nothing's been going on.. A LOT has been going on, in fact. And it isn't because I've been too busy. I've had ample time to sit here and type. The reason is.. I simply have not felt like typing in here. Even tho.. I'll be driving in my car or doing whatever and I'll think up interesting thoughts and things to write about in my diary. But by the time I'm sitting at the computer.. I dunno.. 'Just don't feel like it.
Maybe it's because.. I have little time to myself these days. I've been so used to having so much time to myself in my dorm room, I was more in tune with myself then, I think. But now.. I dunno.. I think I seem to be losing that grip with myself.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Perhaps I need to lose a little bit of myself so I can ease up, let loose, whatever. I was never used to being around a lot of people, and I was never used to being around people all the time.
Yes, I need my alone time. Perhaps the thing I miss the most at the dorms is that little bay inlet at which I would sit and just enjoy the fresh air, the water, the breeze.. all by myself. It was a place at which I would reflect. When my ex broke up with me, I went there a couple times and cried. Or when I had a problem that was bothering me, I would go there and think things through, and I would leave feeling more relaxed and with a better idea of how I was going to deal with things. I have yet to find somewhere to retreat, a haven, in this new place.
But at the same time, I like the exposure to being around people. This is something I need, I think. I feel I have some kind of impairment when it comes to relating to other people.. perhaps being around people more will help me ease up..
*shrug*
I dunno..
Perhaps this makes no sense.. Either that, or it's too boring to bother making any sense of it. Like I said, I really don't feel like typing. :p
LJ