He asked me today- "Did I ruin your life..?
'Cuz I feel like I have..."
Hrm. Sometimes I feel like I'm ruining his.. He could have been so much by now. He was something before. 'Worked in film. Was very successful. He can do it again.. but I feel like I'm holding him back. All he wants to do is spend time with me.. Time he should be spending fulfilling his dreams, doing all the things he wanted to do.
I feel sad when he starts going on and on about playing baseball in present tense. That was something he had great potential for, too. And he loves to tell me all about it. But it's something he hasn't done in so long, and he's really not in the shape for it now..
So I asked him, "Why do you talk about it in present tense?" And he told me because he wants to get back into it. And I asked him why doesn't he. But he says he has no one to practice with now..
There's a lot of things he wants to get back into. But all he does, when he's not working, is sit at home in front of the TV or the computer screen.. He has an amazing mind, he's very sharp when it comes to details and facts. Seriously, you'll never need an encyclopedia as long as he's around. He wants to go on Jeopardy. And he has a very good chance at it. He's been doing trivia games for years. I don't know how he keeps his mind so intact. Mine is being warped by too much TV and too much stress. Seriously, I hate TV. If I could, I wouldn't have one in my abode. When I left for college, I told my parents I didn't want a TV. They got me a microwave. TV gives you an excuse to be doing nothing, when you could be doing something productive.
*shrug*
And now.. if you'll excuse me, I have to go tape the academy awards, so he can watch them when he gets home from work...
LJ