goddammit.
Why is it so hard to lose any weight? I keep staying at the same horrible weight every time I check at the Publix scale. It's so disappointing.. But it's so hard to do anything about it.
This sucks, this sucks, this sucks.
I know how to do it.. I know how to win over my body.. but.. it's getting myself to do it. That's the hardest part.
Number one is eating. This is where I fail miserably. The trick is to eat s l o w l y. Take small bites. That way you don't overeat, and you can feel full and satisfied when the meal is done. Even better, you may even be able to leave some food on the plate and still feel satisfied.
But with me.. as soon as I get anywhere near food, my mouth becomes a vacuum. It has to suck everything up. Lick the plate clean. I eat fast and take big bites. Even with cereal, I've switched from a normal small spoon to a bigger spoon so I can take bigger bites. It's horrible. But I don't know how to stop myself. I become like a vampire thirsty for blood.
Water would be a good thing to help curb the hunger. But.. I'm also having trouble getting into the habit of drinking water regularly. My taste buds have too strong of a craving for taste.
And I don't know how to ignore my desire.
Yeah.. now there's a central problem in my life..
But anyway.. I'm also having such trouble with the exercise regularly part. Maybe if I could just get myself to do 50-100 sit-ups a day again.. That was good, so good for me. And now my poor stomach is destroyed. And it makes me want to cry every time I look down. Or try to fit an old pair of pants or shorts on. :(
I started getting an edge on trimming up by taking walks. I could walk home from class every other day, if not more.. it was a perfect plan. But then Orlando kicked me in the ass. My fucking god.. I've never delt with such unbearable heat. And it's only April.
My advice? If you want to live in Florida, make sure it's either the panhandle.. or make sure that you're living by a huge body of water such as the ocean. The breezes from it help cool things off, trust me.
But this fucking heat.. 'makes a body not want to do anything at all. I was so dying today. And if it's such a chore to just walk to my care in this weather.. how in the world is anyone supposed to exercise, take a walk, or ride a bike?
I wish someone could, like, freeze me.. freeze me in carbonite. And thaw me out when it's cold in Orlando again. I seriously don't want to live through this weather. Miami made me love Florida, but.. Orlando's gonna make me absolutely hate it again..
Did I hear someone say, "Go to the gym!"
Well.. that would be a good suggestion.. However.. classes are over. I'm not signed up for summer. Which means.. I can't exactly go to the UCF gym. At least, not for long. And regular gyms.. well.. they simply cost too much.
I'm just a struggling college student, y'know..
But, god yes, it was nice to get that refund of $1077 today.. We actually paid rent early for next month! I love the feeling of that!
But anyway.. yeah, next plan is to move into an apartment complex that has it's own fitness center. That might help.
Might.
[Oh yeah. Besides the heat, another obstacle is the soreness of my legs, feet, knees from standing up 8 hours at a time at work.. 'Really inhibits me from wanting to push myself and make myself more sore..]
But hear me out: Is anyone else out there struggling to lose weight? 'Cuz if you are.. man, it would be so helpful to have, like, a diet/exercise buddy. Just to talk to about stuff like this.. what's working, what's not.. swap tips and tricks..
'n..
stuff..
The worst part is not being able to fit into my clothes.
Stuff like that really makes you want to cry..
LJ