This morning I realized that I hate my life.
For some reason, I was surprised. I've been trying to block it out, I guess. Only focusing on what I needed to keep going. Trying and trying to find some kind of glimmer.. searching for something delightful, at the very least.. But nothing.
This week was especially miserable.. Midterms.. I'm happy I passed my Stats exam, at least. [78] Even when I finally bought the book only days before the exam. And, yes, btw.. we got the new professor. It's turning out pretty good.
But.. good god, I've been feeling especially miserable lately. Yesterday, during my ERP class.. I was sitting there and I was feeling so depressed that I just wanted to start crying.. so badly.. But that would've been pretty damn embarrassing..
And I've been smoking a lot more lately. It helps to put me in a better mood.. More relaxed.. And I feel more able to talk to people..
I dunno.. I hate complaining..
At least one good thing is happening, though.. This atkins diet is fantastic.. I have more clothes to wear.. I love that I can pick up a pair of pants or a shirt that I haven't worn in soo long.. and, finally, it just fits. No more hassle of trying on shirt after shirt, or pant after pant, getting more and more frantic - and making a mess while I'm at it - because nothing ever fit right. Now.. it's just put my clothes on and go. And I really like that.
At least one good thing, right?
'Trying to be positive..
*sigh*
LJ