ugh.
Life is so weird.
Just two months ago, I thought I had everything figured out. The important stuff, anyway. I knew I was going to be married once I got out of college, and exactly who I was going to marry. Life was going to be perfect and we were going to grow old together. But all that's gone. Not only have I lost the love of my life, but I've also lost my best friend. He can't even talk to me on AIM anymore. And forget ever hearing his voice on the phone or anthing again. The only thing left is email. We'll see how long that lasts. And.. even though we've come to this.. for the life of me, I still don't understand what happened. How could he have suddenly just lost all feeling for me? It used to be I was the one afraid I was losing feeling and he was the one holding on.. But now the reverse has happened.. only, permenantly. I'm not saying I'm holding on. I know I've lost him forever, the best thing that's ever happened to me.. I'm just saying.. even though he feels nothing for me now.. I will always love him. 'Nothing wrong with that. I found my love.. but I'm letting him go so my love can be happy.. that's all I really want for him..
But then.. I meet this guy here at the exact right moment. I mean, it's so perfect and it happened so smooth.. it's uncanny.. it's crazy, really.. but it happened.. He called me, like, 3 nights after we broke up. The hurt was only getting worse an' I was crying when the phone rang. He wanted to know if anyone had gone to the Sex Club meeting the night before since the university was closed (due to flooding at the other campus). An'.. he asked me what I was up to.. and.. I hesitated a little bit at first.. but I told him.. I liked talking to him.. and to make a long story short.. we went out that night. (He told me later that he picked me to call from the Sex Club because he thought my name was pretty :) Last night, tho, we talked about us.. nothing "serious" for now.. a decision made as a result of both our past relationships, but.. we will see where this takes us.. I often wonder why a very sociable guy like him would like a girl like me.. But he does.. *beams* He's so cute. And such a well-rounded guy.. he likes sports and he's very much into fashion and he's quite an artist.. Last night, he drew me.. :) 'Could be a lot of fun, this one..
Oh. And needless to say.. I haven't cried since the first time he called..