Something has happened.
I am starting to feel again.
The floodgates have opened.
And I'm spilling out everywhere.
.
I'm finally excersizing a little restraint. I no longer devour every little piece of sugar I see. Yesterday, I tried to go a full day without anything at all to enhance my mood. 'Cuz I've been noticing that every day I take something to try to make myself feel better. It's all about feeling good, isn't it? So I succeeded in my goal yesterday. However, I was a complete emotional wreck.
It was weird. For a while there, I could not cry. But last night.. jeez.. Massive amounts of leakage from my eyes and my nose.. heh..
I tried to avoid the pain that was there. But in doing that, I had shut off other emotions as well. I was only half living.. Distractions won't last forever.
I don't think I will ever get him out of my system. He was what I had wished for my whole life. He was all I ever wanted. A dream come true. But I messed it up. I was not careful with this precious gem. :/
*sigh*
It is so hard for me to connect with other people.. I s'pose.. I'm just gonna hafta work on being more open.. 'n.. stuff..
or something
i dunno.
How do I make it stop hurting? How can I begin to heal? If anybody knows.. or has any advice.. please tell me. You've got my email, you've got the gbook. I know I need to move on.. but how do I do that? Where do I move on to?
Somebody inspire me.
LJ