Hello hello..
Are you out there..?
.
Hi hi.
Guess what.
I am in Miami, all. Eating some expired yogurt. Mandarin Orange. It's a weird flavor, so I don't think I can really tell the difference, anyway.
Last night.. I was either crying.. or dreaming about crying. I honestly cannot remember which. I don't I have to tell you who I was crying for. Well, maybe I do. My ex, of course. When I woke up, I couldn't remember why exactly I was crying.. maybe I was thinking about a song..? But I remember sobbing loudly. Whiny, painful moan type stuff. And I kept worrying that my roommate might hear me. Or it could've all been a dream. I could be dreaming right now as well, for all I know. How do you know YOU'RE not dreaming now, hmm..?
But it's weird. I've had these things before where I absolutely cannot tell if I am dreaming or awake. Like, one time in my room back home. I was lying in my bed, staring at my door. But I absolutely COULD NOT MOVE. SHIT! I just remembered that happened to me this morning, too! I couldn't move! I was trying to get myself to sit up, but I couldn't. And it felt like I was getting myself to sit up.. but I was just lying in bed.. Very weird.. and kinda scary.. Was I dreaming..? Or do I go through these things where I'm temporarily paralyzed..?
Man.. I don't know.
But I have a headache this morning and I'm eating expired yogurt. Mandarin Orange.
Last night, I just remembered something I forgot. And it was terrible of me to forget.. The 6th is a very important day to me. And this year is the first year I forgot. And the only reason I remembered, too, is 'cuz I was reading d's diary and I saw that he mentioned it was mark's birthday. Which I always associated as being the same day my father died.. :( I didn't even go to his grave while I was back home.. I'm very disappointed in myself. And, furthermore, my mother had told me when I got back that my grandparents (father's side) had left a message yesterday, saying they wanted to see me before I left. :/ It's so hard to do everything you want to do, y'know..?
And Pammy's gonna be mad at me b/c she I know she really wanted to see me before I left.. And I was supposed to call Jennie before I left, too.. :/
I can't help it. Feeling bad for stuff like that lingers in me for awhile.. Stuff I should've said and done..
*shrug*
oh well..
:* < - heh. haven't used THAT symbol in a VERY long time... as well as this: {} or. well. it would always end up being this: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
:(
the little things...
LJ