I think..
I would just like someone to be proud of me.
Don't love me. Just be proud of me.
Proud of what? I'm doing shit right now, right?
I'm still alive, though. That's something.. And I've come extremely far in overcoming the struggle with myself.
I've become a stronger person.
At least I think so.
It's sad that I've lost a lot of goodwill toward people. But, good lord, I've learned [especially in this job] that's there's a lot of walking shit going around that we often mistake for a "person."
Yes. How horrible of me.
So that's the sad part of my changing. I'm not half as thoughtful anymore. I hardly remember birthdays, or other important dates, or even to keep in touch with old friends.
*shrug*
But I'm stronger. Rather than engaging in constant battle with my evil half, we are finally forming an alliance.
Or something.
Maybe not.
But that's the thing about Aaron..
He will always stick up for me, no matter what. And he will never make me feel stupid, no matter what.
So why do I keep up this wall..?
LJ