hello there..
I haven't been online as much lately. 'Just.. don't have the motivation to. I think about how much time I waste on here and that discourages me from even going online in the first place.
And so, instead, I waste an hour and a half watching two episodes of That 70's Show [It's my second favorite show on right now. First is The Simpsons] and Just Shoot Me. Ahh.. Late night re-runs..
But.. I've checked out a bunch of books lately. Working at the library, especially shelving books, you come across a lot of interesting books. Stuff that you would never run into otherwise. I've got about 50 mental notes of stuff all around the library that I want to check out eventually. Right now, I have a handful of self-help books. [Yes. I'm just a little sucker for inspiration and hope in a book.] I've got books on like stuff on getting organized, procrastination, curing my "people-pleasing disease", and making peace with the past. As well as a diet book, a beginner's book for photoshop, and a collection of stories about The Devil. Which is always interesting. The Devil.
Yeah.
So I've just been thinking a lot about stuff. My life needs.. a lot of help right now. I've been trying to calm a lot of the anger.. and clear away some of the rubble. You know.. doing the stepping back thing. Trying to see things as they are. Trying to see just how far off the track I am.
Come December, I'll have wasted an entire year of my life.
An entire year that was simply unbearable. Months of closing my eyes to what's in front of me, hoping for when things will get better. Waiting.. for something.. anything..
But.. I don't think I'll be online as much anymore..
Which is just as well.
Because a spider crawled up my arm today.
LJ