Danielle, I love you so
Danielle, I want you to know
You're such a pretty little girl
Though you have not a curl
Danielle, please come to me
And we'll play "one, two, three"
Danielle, I love you so..
Danielle, I want you to know..
My god, I still remember that.. I used to have my own song.. I used to be sung to.. And not by my mother, no.. But by my grandmother..
And I was thinking back how.. she was more of a mother to me.. And this is not the first time I've thought that.
My grandmother, she was strict. Stricter than my mother. I had a hard time enjoying staying over at her house once I got older. But she was never cruel.. And the cruel things are the ones that you remember.. and that hurt you..
My granparents took care of me before my mother stopped working. I stayed with them, when, a year after being born, my mother was up in New York and had my brother. And if I remember what they say correctly, that's when I first learned to walk. With my grandparents.
My grandmother is someone who I admire more than anyone in the world. She told me once how awful her mother was sometimes.. Too many brothers and sister and not enough to support them all.. Being locked in the attic.. Being kicked out, I think, and my grandfathers' family took her in and/or gave her a job.. Something like that. I can't remember it all, but I remembered that it was something awful she lived through.
And then the people who took her in and she worked for told her about my grandfather, who was still over in Italy. And they would write back and forth for I don't remember how long. Until she went to meet him in Italy and they ended up getting married. I know I'm not doing the story justice, I can't remember it all, but I remembered that it was something beautiful..
The two of them are the most beautiful people I know..
And I haven't done them justice in letting them know that.
I would get this feeling every so often that my grandmother really knew me more than I thought she did. Every so often she would say or do something just right, as if she understood perfectly. I can think of one or two examples. One time I was sad because someone was leaving my class - in elementary or middle school or something - and I came home from school like that, and I didn't think I let on or anything, but she somehow knew to ask if there was something wrong, and I ended up telling her. Another time.. we were saying the rosary, as she often had us do.. we were up in New York at the time.. and I broke out crying. I didn't even know why. But she acted like she simply understood and didn't try to force a reason out of me.
And she stood up for me when she saw me taunted or mistreated..
And that song.. she used to sing me a song as a child.. Do you know how much that means to me? And I still remember it.. The melody and everything.. I hear her voice sing it.. And, god, it's making me shiver and cry my eyes out right now. But it's good. It felt good to cry.
Just the thought of being protected with love.. it makes me tremble..
LJ