apologie
<<January 29, 2003 - Wednesday, 11:32 pm>>

I am sorry for that..

I know it doesn't make much sense..

But I try to tell him how I feel and he lashes out at me.

I'm not in love with him. I've been telling him for months. It's been months since I've even uttered those three nasty words. And yet he still says them ["I love you"] to me dozens of times a day, oblivious to the message I am trying to get across. And I am still bound to him legally and I don't want to be because I am too young, I am miserable, we are not right for each other and he only brings out the worst in me..

And now I'm panicking because tomorrow is my last day to myself. After that.. back to my ball and chains.. head hung low.. Back to sharing my abode with him.. Because he needs a place to stay.. And I.. still feel responsible..

And I really don't have anyone else who can help me through this, even though I put myself in that position. It's just me and him. That makes it all the harder..

I just desperately want to be free again..

Why is that so much to ask..?

LJ

step back - push forward

dearcynthia}}




Lately:
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