I donated blood tonite.
A pushy guy outside of the bloodmobile was insisting on me doing so. Even though I tried to tell him that the last time I gave blood, I almost fainted. He just kept saying, "Oh, I know it's scary, but this is such a wonderful thing to do, saving lives, etc." I don't think he understood me trying to tell him that I almost fainted out of health reasons, not because I was scared.
But I gave in. I secretly wanted to have the thrill of almost fainting anyway.. And I knew it would happen. I am unhealthy, there is a problem with my blood, and.. I barely ate all day. So, of course, it was going to get to that point. But I wanted it to happen anyway.
So I was doing good.. I bled pretty fast. But just as I was almost done filling the bag, I did start to feel it. That brush with involuntary unconsciousness.. I fought it, of course. I wouldn't know how to not fight it. I caught the "nurse's" attention as soon as I started to feel it hit me. The two of them rushed over to attend to me, hurrying up with detaching the bag of blood, getting the needle out of me, giving me smelly stuff to keep me awake..
And I fought the push for unconsciousness. It was wonderful. It got dim. I got dizzy. I felt like I was going to throw up. I panicked over things like, what would happen to me? Who would take care of me? I coughed. I tried to keep my eyes open. I breathed heavy, sucking in the air. I sucked on the straw going into the pepsi can they gave me..
They said my face got really pale..
It took me a while to feel comfortable and "okay" again. My blood pressure must have been really low, becuase the nurse told me to stay there for a while after he took it. I normally have very low blood pressure to begin with..
Once I felt fine, it felt that much better to be alive. A little light-headed.. and I actually felt a little lighter all around, too..
I was itching, in my depressed state, to just get stupid drunk tonite. But this was just as good, if not better.. Crap, much better, of course. I hope they get to use my blood, though.. 'Might be low on platelets or white blood cells.. Who knows, I still need to get it checked out.
LJ