It's that moment when you've reached the top of the rollercoaster hill, and you're just about to fall..
It's that moment when you've just let yourself fall from the top of a very steep water-slide..
It's those two seconds before you know you're going to hit the car in front of you..
It's that point in time when you just. can't. look.
And you close your eyes, and cringe, and just hope that you're somehow going to come out of it alright.
Why do I close my eyes? I dunno.. Maybe I'm hoping someone else will take over for me as I go into shut-down mode. Let nature take its course. What willl happen will happen. And I no longer have control.
But that's how I feel now. I've been walking through life with my eyes shut. Because I just can't look anymore.
I don't want to see anymore. I don't want to know anymore.
And I'm just hoping and hoping for this to reach an outcome so I can finally open my eyes again.
And breathe.
p.s. I just had a dream where I only remembered two things: my husband was my brother, or my brother was my husband. The idea being, my level of attraction towards the husband is about the same as towards my brother. [in other words, none.] And, when I woke up, I thought I was somewhere else. But I can't remember where that somewhere else was! It took me a few minutes to figure out where I really was.
LJ