I finally did it today.
I went through the clothes in my dresser drawers and removed any clothes that no longer fit me. So far, 21 pairs of pants and 15 pairs of shorts. All ready to be packed away and put in a storage unit. Or, a poolside bathroom, as it were.
It was very depressing going through those clothes. Lots of memories.. Days of a better body.. *sigh* And the worst, resigning to the fact that it will be a while until I can wear those clothes again.
IF I can ever. I keep thinking that someday I will, though.
I also went bike-riding today for the first time in years. My ass-bones are quite sore from the bicycle seat. I hope they won't be too sore for more bike-riding tomorrow.
I just feels like, though, that no matter what I do, I'll keep getting bigger and bigger. It's hard to even imagine that I could possibly trim down to the body I used to have. But I keep hoping.
And dreaming of liposuction.
Heh.
No, y'know what I want to try? >>Hypnosis. What a crock, right? I believe it can work, though. If I could just get myself motivated, determined, and committed at a sub-conscious level..
I quit smoking completely cold turkey, you know. Impossible? Nope. I'm like a light-switch sometimes. This time I just turned the switch off and didn't think about it and let my sub-conscious do all the work for me. And it's like I just stopped caring about smoking. No cravings. And the smell and taste actually became nasty for me.
All by doing nothing. I didn't even want to stop smoking. It just happened.
*shrug*
Maybe I'm just a pro at repression by now, and that's all there is to it.
Speaking of which, there was this cute guy at the theater today, taking tickets. I think he may have been flirting with me when he commented on the movie I was going to see ["Pirates of the Carribbean"] and I just explained "Johnny Depp." Maybe he was just being nice, but I felt this "zing" when I was talking to him. He had energy, and I felt like I was being pulled toward him. And I wanted to talk to him and continue with our fun, playful conversation about Johnny, and I didn't want to stop. I had to get close to him as I was talking to him. Later, I was thinking I should have slipped him an email. Or, I could have been bold enough and said, "Hey, you're cute, do you have a girlfriend?" Would it have caught him off guard? Do people really say things like that? I have no idea.. but I felt like I should have done something. I even came up with a perfect excuse by physically being thirsty and have to go back outside to the lobby and purchase a drink before the movie started, thus continuing the conversation, but having it look like I only went out there for a drink.
Clever, yes. I can be wicked when I spot energy that I can feed off of.
Yes, I know I'm horrible. At 21, have I reached my prime? I've never noticed thinking to myself, "my god, he's HOT" as often as I do these days. In fact, I NEVER used to have such thoughts. And I used to hate hearing girls make remarks like that to each other. And now I'm thinking them to myself. Like a girl in heat. Now I need some girlfriends to look and drool over eyecandy with! Oh, I'm awful.. But I'm a nympho at heart.. I won't be satisfied until I nail them all..
Sshhhh... You didn't hear me say that..
~*~
I thought I recognized your face
Amongst all of those strangers -
But I am the stranger now
Amongst all of the recognized
What is this?? Are you some kind of hypnotist??
Waving your powers around...
[footnote: "today" = "friday"]
LJ