Fuck it. I don't need to love. Just the thought of it conjures up way too much pain.
Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it.
Why am I being so ridiculous? I've already menstruated for the month, so why am I feeling like this??
It's retarded.
I'M retarded.
Three years, Dani.. C'mon now.. Three years OVER.
But I never get over anything. I don't know how. It just festers and boils.
I should write a book. Maybe that would provide sufficient therapy.
Or just go see a therapist. But writing a book would prove more lucrative.
Hrm.
I'd have to lock myself away in some far off cabin. Completely isolated. Left with just pictures and letters. And I'll drive myself insane. Tear my hair out. Relive the bliss. Relive the pain. Find a perspective, or just get totally lost. Through characters and stories. Somehow make sense of it.
What did I miss? What am I missing..?
Find the last piece to the puzzle.
A conundrum.
A dream within a nightmare..
LJ