Every time I get near a baby, I start wanting one..
My old boss, Annya, came in to work with her baby again. I don't know what it is.. I think I might be good with kids. 'Cuz, whenever I'm around 'em, they just sorta gravitate toward me. And.. I was just standing in the background behind everyone else oogling over the baby.. But the cute lit'l guy with the gray-blue eyes would keep looking over at me for some reason. And my co-workers even noticed he'd keep looking over at me.
So.. I got in the spirit and made cute little baby faces and all that. You know.. how you act extra-excited about everything. It's kinda fun.
Later on, though, the excitement died down and people got back to work. For some reason, they took their eyes off the baby and he started wandering toward the front circulation desk. [We, in Interlibrary Loan, work in an office area behind some shelves behind the front circulation desk.]
Since no one else was goin' after him, I got up from my seat and said, "Oop. Oop. Baby crawlin' away!"
And I followed him and did the "Where you goin'?" in that baby-teaser voice. And, well.. he was wandering off so far that.. I kinda had to pick him up. Even though I'm a little afraid to because I have no experience with kids. Never babysitted or nothing. I'm afraid I'd drop or hurt the kid.
But he liked me. 'Looked at me with that bright face. My new boss came back from whatever it was she was doing [she's pregnant now], and she put out her hands for the baby to reach out to her, but.. instead he just burrowed his face in my chest.
Awwwwww...
And.. having a baby cuddle in your arms like that.. It's like.. suddenly everything is so clear. This is what it's all about, y'know? And everyone says that.. Being on your own and without that kind of responsibility, it can be kinda difficult to figure out where to focus your energy. And you hear about mothers who have babies so young, but that it suddenly gets them straight. Because suddenly there is a clear and urgent focus.. and everything, everything is for that baby now.
And well.. It kinda gives me something to look forward to.. When the time is right..
To add to the story... there's a guy at work that I am growing more and more attracted to each time I see him. Trouble is, he's the father of my boss's baby. I've overheard that they're kinda "not together", but that they're "trying" to be together now that she's pregnant.
This guy, though, the first few times I've had to deal with him, I just thought he was a real ass. He worked in circulation, but he really wasn't good in dealing with people.. and stuff like that pisses me off. He can come off as rude and "smart".. The type that can make other people feel stupid.. Make off comments.. whatever..
To epitomize.. he walked in the other day and said to my boss in a dry voice, "You still pregnant?"
Loved it!
And my boss, being the bright bubbly little puertorican girl that she is.. didn't really catch his comment at first.
But anyway.. yeah, I realized.. this is just the type of person I would LOVE to be with. Quiet, calm, cool, collected, sometimes impatient, filled with quirky comments and looks. And he's Haitian again. What is with me??
"Once you go black..."
But anyway.. the attraction grows..
Today.. after the baby didn't want to go to Ana, my boss.. I gave the baby to him. And, later, they all noticed that the baby was so attracted to me because of my sparkly butterfly necklace. [I learned that babies are attracted to stringy and sparkly things today..] And.. this guy, he makes a comment about not wearing big long earring as well 'cuz they like to play with that, too.. And he touches my hair on the side of my neck as he says it. To demonstrate, I'm sure, but...
Holy crap.
I'm always suspicious when guys, out of nowhere, start touching me. I mean.. it's been my clue on more than one occasion, that someone is interested or attracted to me, and I'm usually right. But this I'm going to dismiss, of course, because.. well, dangerous waters, and it's just crazy altogether. But the touch left me tingly nonetheless.
Can he smell my attraction to him, I wondered. Can people tell when they're the cause of your heart racing and you getting all flustered and not being able to speak as eloquently? At a purely animal or chemical viewpoint, would I let off pheromones [spell?] and can people, maybe unconsciously, really pick up on that...?
Ugh. He works for "Systems" now. And, last week, I had to go to the backroom where the Systems office is to get a battery for the cordless mouse. And.. it was just me and him alone in that backroom as I did so. I thought I would die.. So many thoughts raced through my head. But I kept quiet and shy.
And later, as he comes to work on the same computer I had to get the battery for the mouse for, because it still wasn't working.. He overlooks my work on another computer and says to me, "I did not just see that..."
What did he see?
I was emailing a patron about a book. A book about Mother Theresa. A book called, "The Missionary Position."
Oh, god, stop teasing me....
Of course, I think we both appreciated the irony.. Or the... how would you say.. misnomer..? The way that title can really be misinterpreted..?
Okay, we'll just call it irony.
LJ