So.
Today is The Anniversary.
Who here feels like celebrating?
Not me.
For me.. it's like celebrating the day you shat in your pants. You don't want anyone knowing about that. Much less remembering and celebrating.
It's embarrassing that I'm married! More than anything, I'm embarrassed!
Speaking of anniversaries, though.. There's this very good movie with Alan Cumming and Jennifer Jason Leigh called The Anniversary Party. In it, a young couple is having a party for their anniversary. But there are lots of problems that come up. They have problems with their neighbors complaing about their dog, but they invite the couple next door anyway. Random dysfunctional things occur between the guests, hostilities and discomfort with one another. And then Gwyneth Paltrow brings ecstacy as her gift to the party. And everyone's rolling.. One woman strips naked. A man [I think the naked woman's husband] falls in the pool and almost drowns. The husband of the couple celebrating their anniversary gets caught making out with the woman next door in the bushes. Then the dog runs away. And the rest of the night is spent searching for the dog while the couple fights and bickers and unearths some deep tensions, insecurities, and real issues in the relationship. When they get back, they find out that, I think, the wife's father passed away.. Someone like that anyway..
So yeah. That's the kind of party I'd like to have..
And it had some good music in it, too. I really want the soundtrack. It's even on my wishlist at amazon.com.
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Today in general, though, has just been "off." Ever have one of those days where things just don't run smoothly.. or.. it's as if the planets are out of alignment or something..? A day where, not just one or two people forgot how to drive, but everyone forgot how to drive.. And it's awkward. And you have close call after close call.
And it's not attitude, either. Attitude doesn't determine a bad day. Not too long ago, I walked outside to begin my day in the absolute crummiest mood. But then, I was caught off-guard at how friendly anyone I came in contact with was. Even as I was walking to my counseling appointment in the morning.. There was a guy a few steps ahead of me on the sidewalk, wearing a coat. And he suddenly turned around to talk to me, as if he knew me or something. And he told me, "I know it's not that cold," referring to his coat. But he said he knew he wasn't going to get out of the library until midnite, and then it would be cold.
I just laughed to myself. What does it matter if he's wearing a coat or not? He's perfectly free to wear whatever he wants. Was this person being self-conscious and just wanted to bring it out in the open? There was no one around.. Did he care that I might perceive it as a little silly that he's wearing a coat when I'm not wearing anything over my t-shirt?
...
do you think...?
I took it as an opportunity to keep a conversation going, though. 'Did my best not to let the ball drop, which is what I usually do.. "Yay! Someone to talk to!" said my brain. And it gave me a reason to smile that day...
But today...
today, today..
I had no reason to smile.
LJ