i miss you. that was my first thought today.
i dreamt valerie [his girl] killed my brother. we saw it happen. they were driving off somewhere and she shot him in the head. the car jerked to a stop in a parking lot and a i ran over in horror.
actually, it wasn't valerie at first. first it was his older brother [who doesn't exist], and the older brother dropped the gun when i got there, sort of while in a daze, and he was muttering something about, "he didn't listen, he never fucking listens.."
i was like 'yeah, whatever, get out of the fucking car, asshole.' i wanted to see my brother. i wanted to know if he could be okay still.
but he was dead. there wasn't any hope. and i was screaming. and crying. and cussing. i was hysterical. screaming obsenities at the absolute top of my lungs.
i was absolutely, absolutely horrified.
my parents were at the car by now. and they were trying to protect valerie, and trying to move emanuele, because.. they seemed to think it was an accident.
but i was like, no. nobody's fucking touching him. this bitch killed him. i don't care if it was a fucking accident or not. she's going to fucking jail for as long as she can. i'm not fucking protecting her.
of course.. i was screaming all that up there.
and, uhm.. crap, what a feeling to wake up with.
nobody fucking kills my brother.
LJ