labor day weekend.
long birthday weekend.
and here i am still waiting out a storm.
an unpredictable storm that's taking its sweet ass time. it was originally supposed to hit land by friday night. i think.. i don't know anymore, it keeps changing. now we're not looking at till tomorrow morning..?
jesus.
this is depressing and distressing. i haven't anything to do. i should've brought some books to read. like my sandman endless nights book. or house of leaves. dammnit. 'could've made some use of this time. instead, it's an absolute complete waste.
and i hate wasting time.
i want to feel like there can be a difference between yesterday, today, and tomorrow. something that has either been accomplished or i've bettered myself in some way.
and this whole thing is weird, i've got to thinking.. i played with the idea in my head yesterday that the cosmic forces could be playing some kind of joke on me. a joke to make my husband and i spend our shared birthday in the same place one last time.
look how long frances is taking.. like, what the fuck? what is she waiting for? just fucking hit already. get it over with. stop making me be here.
i should've been in the arms of my baby by now.. or not. it's actually only saturday. here i was thinking it was sunday when i woke up.
*sigh*
what can i do..?
i should be with friends, maybe enjoying a hurricane party.. i should be with people who care about me. not.. people who would rather not have me here..
so. really.. what in the world am i supposed to do with all this..?
>>
Scatter your words spontaneously.Gusty winds do not outlast the dawn.
Torrential rains do not outlast the sun.
Why does Heaven Earth (nature) do this?
Heaven Earth (nature) honors the power of change.
Is it less so for people?
...
He who follows the Tao
Is at one with the Tao.
He who is virtuous
Experiences Virtue.
He who loses the way
Is lost.
When you are at one with the Tao,
The Tao welcomes you.
When you are at one with Virtue,
The Virtue is always there.
When you are at one with loss,
The loss is experienced willingly.
...
Become one with change and enjoy all the benefits of change.
Faith is never enough! Be in the place of change, not in the place of faith.
...
He who does not trust enough
Will not be trusted.
[tao te ching 23]
LJ