it was the second step in my public speaking transformation.
i was especially nervous and my skin crawled because i missed the first day of presentations, and i was feeling like a shit for that. but uhm.. towards the end of class, i raised my hand as one of the people who hadn't talked yet. i handed her my outline, walked to the front of the room, no questions asked.
this is when i started pacing myself. not consciously, totally. but.. to combat the nervousness, i think i decided to move really slowly and purposefully.
i took my time erasing the name of the person before me on the board and firmly wrote my own name.
i stopped thinking at this point. i didn't doubt. i didn't question. i just did. rather than panic.. i just did what anyone facing their greatest fear has to do. i just had to do it.
and, uhm.. it might've been rusty. i don't know how even my voice was. i was still a bit shaky. but i was ignoring it as i spoke.
no, the remarkable thing i experienced for the first time ever, speaking in front of a group of people, was watching them react. holy crap, what a rush. and for the first time making a short presentation, i actually made real eye contact with a group of people. i'd see someone react and i looked right at them. my professor's advice really helped. she said to look and think of each one as if you're just talking to an individual, not as a whole. it really helps break down the fright.
so.. uhm.. and i flowed as i talked. i really don't know if i said "uhm" or faltered even once. i have a feeling i didn't, because i wasn't my focus. the people i was speaking to were my focus. and.. i dunno.. it was an amazing shift of focus.
anyway.. it's taped. so, uh.. soon i'll be able to see the other side of it.
LJ