...
I was so excited to show him around here when he would visit.. I couldn't wait.. I was even planning on taking pictures of everything on Monday.. of the gorgeous view.. lit'l parts of my life.. I was going to mail them to him.. So he could see.. I was in love with this campus, especially the part over by the bay.. Now I look around.. everything seems so stale and withered.. so unspecial now..
christ, this hurts so much...
was it something I did..? I keep asking myself.. "why?" ..of course, it comes out as painful moans as I'm crying.. how can he do this to me..? and think.. if I had never come down here, trying to follow him and be near him..
christ..
I cry and cry and cry.. and with each wale.. it feels like another piece of my soul has just died..
And I don't know what to do know.. I look around.. and I see.. there's no reason for me to be here.. and what's the point of going back home..? I don't know where to go.. I'm so lost..
LJ