The other night I had the second of my new re-occuring dream. Basically, the situation is that my teeth are falling out, usually my front bottom teeth, and I'm panicking and at a loss as to what to do. This dream could mean a few things: One, according to the dream dictionary: "Losing the teeth may reflect a loss of power as well as a loss of one's grasp of life circumstances."
Now this leaves me with a very big "Hrmmm..."
Loss of power.. loss of grasp on life circumstances.. You gotta admit, being a college student, being broke, lack of income, dejected of financial aid.. Things are very up in the air. I don't know how things are going to work out a month from now. I am in a very vulnerable and dependent position. I've never liked being dependent on another person, but that's what lack of money forces you to rely on. Not that I mind being taken care of by my boyfriend.. in fact, it's one of the things I love most about him, the fact that I CAN rely on him and that he takes care of me so well.. Sometimes just thinking about that alone can start me crying.. Happy crying, of course. Still.. life is hectic. And I have little time to do the things I need to do. Such as getting an appointment at the clinic scheduled before my birth control runs out.. or.. going to the dentist.
Which leads me to the second possible explanation of my dream. Perhaps the psychic forces around me are telling me to go to the dentist. I think it's been over a year now. And I don't have the best teeth to deal with. My mother has a history of gingivitis. And I don't have the best gums to start out with myself. For the longest time, I've been concerned with how low my gums are. When I voiced my concern at the dentist one time, I was only told that I simply have long teeth. But.. I dunno. My gums just seem unnaturally thin and low to me. Plus I think I've already gotten about all the cavities I CAN get. All my back teeth have already been drilled and are now dressed with silver fillings.
So.. I dunno.. perhaps my dream could be sending me two messages at once.
At least these are a bit better than my old re-occuring dreams. This one, yes, it can be rather embarrassing, but I think it's interesting that somewhere along the line I stopped having the dream. But.. here was the circumstance: I was out somewhere and I had to urinate. But whenever I went to the bathroom, there would be no doors over the stalls. So, so many times, I had this re-occuring dream of me urinating, naked also, in front of a lot of people. So what does this mean? Interesting what the dream dictionary has for urination: "Urination in a dream has several interpretations that range from inhibited sexual desires to the outpouring of emotional feelings that have been repressed." Both are things that I'm sure I was dealing with at the time, especially the second one. With the environment that I grew up in, repression was the way to go. There are SO many things that I simply held inside. And a lot of things that I still do. Which in turn, leaves me with a handicap today when it comes to expressing myself. But.. outpouring of emotional feelings.. I don't want to die until I have been able to express myself to the purest, rawest, most heartwrenching degree.. That's what this diary is for.. that's what I did with my ex.. I constantly try to express myself and explain myself over and over again.
Going on to the second element, Naked: "Being naked in a dream suggests exposure of self to others, being vulnerable to how others see one, feeling ashamed of being found out." Interesting how two opposites came together in my re-occuring dream. Being ashamed, feeling exposed.. and at the same time.. There is a releasing of my inner-most being.. Of potent feelings that have been kept inside.. My fear mixed with my desire. My fear being the fear of others knowing who I am, and my desire being exactly that: FOR others to know who I am. The one thing I want most is the one thing I fear the most.. This summs up the internal conflict that I deal with every day of my life.
Then again.. heh.. they're just dreams, aren't they?
LJ