Mm. Today was kinda miserable. Raining all day. Shelving books 'till my knees were sore. Rent overdue. Dammit, and we still have those three videos out from Blockbuster. It's been over a month now.
But anyway.. yeah.. Driving around in that rain, trying to find a place open after work so I can get a money order.. I started crying. I want my little car back, dammit. My little white Sundance. The rest of my life could be absolutely miserable.. but as long as I could get around in that car.. I could still find some peace and happiness.
So, blech.
I feel miserable.
I have this problem.. where I start to hate my job after only a month or so of working there. I think it might have to do with that I don't establish relationships, or have any time to socialize really, with the people I work with. Yeah. That's defintely what made me love my job at the FIU library. Annya, my boss, was the best. But.. y'can't, like, "shadow" for a job [like you could for choosing a school]. Y'just gotta test it by working there, and then you find out. Most often, it's not a match. So what canya do?
And it's not just co-worker relationships. Customers can also make your job a living hell. That, and having to stand up the whole time.
Mm.. I dunno, I'm just rambling.
I feel so drained.
And my knees hurt.
I tried taking a bath, but there wasn't enough hot water. And then the water wouldn't stay in the tub. So that really sucked.
I even had, like, nice "stress release" bath oils 'n stuff. And a candle. And some CDs from the library.. Lorena McKinnet [sp?] and the soundtrack to Crouching Tiger. Nice, soft, soothing stuff. It was going to be a very spiritual and healing 30-45 minutes.
But.. It didn't work out.
I'm looking forward to Miami. I think. I dunno, my head's not screwed on all the way right now. I really need to get my head together.
But I'm so tired..
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep..
*shrug*
LJ