And so I come home after work and I'm by myself and the apartment is quiet. Save for some noise outside caused by the kids of the annoying next door neighbors. And there's stuff that I should do.. cleaning, putting stuff away, throwing stuff away, books to read and return to the library..
But I don't feel like doing a damn thing.
I just want to be still and quiet. I don't want to think, or to see, or to hear, or to feel..
I thought I might like to down some alcohol.. to put me more in an oblivious mood.. but that would require consumption. And I don't want to consume anything right now.
So if only I had something to inject with a needle.. that'd be nice. And quick. And it wouldn't upset my easily irritable stomach.
No, I've never done heroine. But I have injected some type of liquid form of painkillers [I forget the name]. In New Orleans. Mardi Gras.
That was when Hunbun had lots of different prescription drugs. And he was wild and crazy and free with me.
Yeah.. So it'd be nice right now..
In just a couple weeks, I'll be living on my own again.. for the first time in over a year. It will be short-lived since Hunbun talks of joining me in a couple months, but.. I'll take what I can get.
I'm sure it'll be as refreshing as that first gasp of air after hanging around down below in the water for too long..
But right now.. I can barely fathom what it will be like. I should be excited, but..
My head is still swimming underwater.
LJ