Says it feels right this time / Turn around, found new high lights
Good day to be alive, Sir / Good day to be alive, he said.....
A chapter has ended. A new one begins.
Reunion. More pain. Separation and loss.
�I want to iron you out into a blanket..�
I�ll carry you in my pocket.
�
I made a crazy decision, I know. �Not sure where I�m going with this. Out of the dorms. �Living with the husband again. Already, anger erupts from past memories that emerge to become present again.
He�s a slob. Dear lord, I need a neat freak. For my sanity, please. I can�t live amidst a sea of clothes and newspapers and cords and junk and more junk to wade in everyday! There is no place to even lay my purse down somewhere because the place is literally packed to the ceiling with JUNK!
He says he needs me to motivate him, for that extra push for him to clean up..
Do NOT tell me that.
No, no, no, no, no�
I would rather save that for my children, thank you.
Already I miss having a place of my own. Where everything has a place, and I know where that place is. Where I can breathe and not feel claustrophobic. Where I have a chair to sit. And a bed to sit in or sleep on. Not a huge monster of a waterbed that takes up the whole room, and that I refuse to sit in or sleep in anymore because I absolutely detest waterbeds, they are the most ridiculous invention on the world.. who came up with the idea to sleep on water?? Swimming pools weren�t enough? I can�t stand the way the whole bed moves around. The way I sink in too far for my liking. Sleeping in a waterbed only makes me feel more groggy and tired when I wake up. And I usually can�t get my ass out until around 4pm. Ugh.
So I slept on my >foam/studio/folding-out chair bed thingie< last night. Twin size. Black. It�s pretty.
*sigh*
I was very late for work today. �Still had trouble getting up. And I�m going to have to get used to allowing myself an hour to get to work/school. No longer a 5 minute walk..
*shrug*
It�s going to be a long summer.
�Looking forward to the fall..