Today I bought myself a thong. Never wore one before, thought I would try it out. Plus, the design was so pretty and they didn't have it in regular bikini style.
And, well.. let's just say that me and my saggy ass was NOT made to be a thong-wearing girl.
Dammit. 7 dollars down the drain..
~*~
I've been having some interesting dreams lately. The night before, I had a dream about the husband. I dreamt that I had moved into his apartment..
To clarify, though, let me now interject and say that I have now just moved into where he's living at his parents, which is two rooms connected by a bathroom. Pretty much, we get one side of the whole house to ourselves. The parents have their grand master bedroom and bath all the way on the other side of the house. A master bedroom which includes double doors, and then another set of rose-decorated glass double doors for the bathroom. And then the bathroom is further separated by two more little rooms, one for the toilet, and one for the bidet.
Oh jes, a bidet.
That they don't even use!! For shame!
A large beautiful bath tub in the center of the room, backed by a tall mirror, a step down shower behind that mirror, two long sink/mirror/counter combos on each side of the tub against the walls, topped off with a skylight in the center of the vaulted ceiling. Yes, I think it may be the most grandiose bathroom I've ever encountered..
But I digress.
This kid has two rooms to himself, I mentioned. Two! Both FILLED to the brim with JUNK! My junk had to go outside in the mostly-unused living room.
But.. back to the subject of my dream.
Dream #1:
So I dreamed I moved into the husband's apartment. And we were chilling. Then this girl comes over. An old flame of his. She was short, with short dark brown hair and bangs. She thought I, and this whole "working on" things, was a joke. So she proceeded to get on top of him and start making out with him right in front of me. He didn't fight her off.
I just laughed. Really, it was funny to me.
Later.. all three of us were in a car. I wanted to show her, so I proceeded to suck the husband's dick. But we were cramped in the car, and I think we got body parts confused, because I started to doubt that maybe I had ended up sucking her toe instead.
So I asked the husband, "was I sucking her toe instead?"
He would just shrug and say he didn't know.
My level of anger immediately rose and I started my nagging: "How can you not know? You're the one who would have been feeling it.." and so on.
But he didn't know.
I got pissed off and started my screaming: "I don't want to do this! I'm leaving! I'm tired of you giving me shit! Just answer the fucking question! How could you let me suck her toe??!! Blah, blah, blah!! Etc.!!"
And stuff.
Yes. I wasn't mad that he would have done anything. I was mad that he wouldn't fucking answer my question. Which is something he does.. Does he do it for drama? To build suspense? I absolutely hate it, though.
And that dream, of course, put some bad feelings in me about me living here. Part of me really did want to just up and leave yesterday.. But where would I go..?
Dream #2:
Last night I dreamt I was still in my dorm room. I was due to move out in one day. Or so I thought. I was sitting in my room, messing around on my computer when I heard keys fumbling, a lock unlocked, and then a door opened. I just figured it was next door. But then this girl walked in very shocked and confused.
She was all ready to move in. I'm like, "what? Move-in isn't until tomorrow."
And she's telling me, no, today was her day to move in. She was from out of the country and struggled a bit with her English. Cute white European girl with short choppy brown hair.
So I'm fumbling through my papers trying to find the academic schedule of when is move-in for the next semester. I can't seem to find it. She's all frustrated and upset, throws what she's carrying on my lit'l couch [a cute little saggy brown velvet couch that I never owned in real life] in the kitchen area, and runs downstairs to the front desk. I'm telling her, "wait! I'll find the papers and show you you're not supposed to move in yet!"
But I can't find the papers.
She comes back. She actually starts yelling at me that I should've been moved out. That, why am I waiting 'till the last minute and wasting time in front of my computer when I should be packing my shit? And that I need to move out so that she can move in.
Hrm. Well, then.
And that's all I remember.
~*~
Dream Interpretation
And here's where I try out interpreting my dreams. Woohoo! I found this great site for it: >Dream Moods<. Check it out.
Okay, in my first dream, I was.. *ahem*.. sucking something. Then I didn't know WHAT I ended up sucking, so I took that to mean the sucking part was pretty significant. Here's what I found: To dream that you are sucking on something, indicates that you need emotional nurturance. You are expressing a desire to escape from your daily responsibilities. Alternatively, it may represent low self-esteem and your feelings of inferiority. The dream may also be a metaphor for "sucking up" to someone.
Wow. A lot of stuff in there. I'll let you ponder for a bit.. while I go on to the next symbol I found. I was angry in my dream. Very angry. So angry that I was my usual yelling self towards the husband and ready to pack up and leave. Here's what I found on anger: To dream that you are holding or expressing anger, symbolizes frustrations and disappointments in your Self. You tend to repress your negative emotions or project your anger onto others. You need to look within yourself. Being angry in your dream may have been carried over from your waking life. Dreams can function as a safe outlet where you can express your strong and/or negative emotions. You have some suppressed anger and aggression that you have not consciously acknowledged. Yes. I always repress negative emtotions. With them, I tend to repress the positive ones as well. And.. heh.. yeah, anger was definitely carried over. Hell, I already wanted to move out in real life.
I'm just.. really scared about this whole situation.
Emotional nurturance? Hell yeah, I could use some.. I would love to escape daily responsibilities and move on into a dream world.. where everything is good. and safe. and.. wonderful.
But.. on to dream #2. One thing caught my attention: I was searching frantically for something I had lost. I was unable to move on with the conversation and deal with the problem before me until I had found the item. What I found on losing things was pretty interesting.. To dream that you lose something may mean that you really have misplaced something that you had not realized yet. It may also be a signal for you to clean out and reorganize your life. You have become overwhelmed and distracted with the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life. On a symbolic note, losing things in your dream may signify lost opportunities, past relationships or forgotten aspects of yourself. Your personal associations to the thing you lose will clue you into the emotional meaning and interpretation of your dream.
*sigh* yes, yes..
And.. I was also late in my dream. At least, in the girl's opinion. Yelling at me because I should have been moved out already. To dream that you are late, denotes your fear of change and your ambivalence about seizing an opportunity. You may feel unready, unworthy, or unsupported in your current circumstances. Additionally, you may be overwhelmed or conflicted with decisions about your future.
Good fucking lord, ain't in the truth?
Heh.
Oh, and I figured me being on my computer wasn't anything special since I'm addicted to the computer anyway, so no big deal if I'm doing the same in my dream. But.. I've never actually dreamt of being on my computer before, so I decided to look it up and found this: Alternatively, computers also represent a lack of individuality and non expression of emotions and feelings. Too often you are just going along with the flow, without voicing your own opinions and views. You may also feel a depreciated sense of superiority.
Lastly [I think], something in common with both dreams was yelling. First, I was yelling. Then.. someone was yelling at me... To dream that you or someone is yelling, represents repressed anger that need to be expressed.
Mm. So I'm angry about something. I wonder what.. :p
But.. I guess.. basically.. I'm stressed about my future, and I need to look within myself and reorganize, and I'm feeling low, scared, and inferior. I guess my dreams are practically yelling at me to face myself..
Maybe..
But I don't want to just yet..
LJ