I need to leave this diary on a happier note, but...
I dunno, I just feel really weird.
I'm not communicating with myself.
And I've just been.. quiet and withdrawn [moreso than usual, anyway], and.. depressed. That sounds like such a big and final word..
Sad..
I haven't been able to cheer myself up.
And my skin.. It still feels like that uncomfortable tingly.
You know that flush of heat you feel when you get really embarrassed sometimes..? Especially when a lot of people are looking at you..? That's what it feels like constantly. That's how I feel both hot and cold at the same time..
It feels very uncomfortable. And it shuts me up. And makes me feel paranoid. Like people only have bad things to think about me.
And I keep wanting to cry. I'll retreat to the toilet during my work/class day, and I'll just want to sit there and cry. But I know I can't.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I just feel really afraid.
Like a cat with all its hair standing up, or a dog who's pissed itself.
LJ