Why do I feel like I've been hit in the back of my head...?
I'll just let that thought simmer as I go on.
I've been feeling much happier lately. Almost manic, even. [Woohoo, now I'm manic-depressive!] At the same time, I've been feeling a little weird and a little bit of nothing. I don't know if it's because I've finally given my problems a well thought-out "fuck it" or.. have I succeeded in solid repression for the time being?
I don't know, really. I never know how I'll feel tomorrow. Tomorrow, I could hate myself for the things I've decided. At the same time, I might be very glad.
But.. I've stripped myself of heaviness, and burden, and any other useless pastimes eating away at my heart.
Less to deal with.
Make it simple.
I've been avoiding studying for my accounting final, though. My brain just can't handle it. One inane useless sentence after another. Methods of solving accounting problems that I don't understand and I'll never need. So I've been diverting my attentions elsewhere, getting myself in a bit of trouble.
I took a [probably expired] painkiller last night. Just for kicks. Because painkillers are the one drug I absolutely adore. At least that I know of so far.. Herbal remedies, such as st. john's wart, have as much effect on me as a cup of water. And I've been trying very hard to cheer up. Liquor is frowned upon in my atkins diet since it slows the metabolism.. so I thought, what the hell, let's give myself a kick. Maybe get a little giddy and loopy.
Instead, I think it gave me more energy than before and I ended up going through some boxes, cleaning out what I don't want to keep. One box was filled with high school and middle school memories.. Does anyone remember friendship bracelets?? I had a nice collection of those. I still never learned how to make them. How about.. did anyone else ever make or wear homemade wire bracelets? Where.. you take a colored wire, bend it, and wrap the wire around and around into a bracelet..
Hrm..
I've also started something of a blog. Something for shorter, random things to post.
God help me, I am hopelessly addicted to wasting my time online.
I wanted to do livejournal since a friend of mine blogs there. And it seems like a lot of fun, the whole community aspect of it. But I became too impatient for an invitation code and started up something at upsaid instead. Which also has very nice community features. And I love the way their layout is set up. 'Makes Diaryland look like a huge gaudy cartoon..
But Diaryland is still my #1 love..
Oh. And I also have thoughts brewing for [yet another]template. And when that happens.. my idea keeps circling, hovering over my head and in my face until I finally grab it and pour it all out in one sitting.. This time it will be more personal. This time I will use an image of my very own. Now if only that scanner could get hooked up..
But I must study.. I must study..
Oh, but for now.. sleep..
LJ