I was watching "A Bronx Tale" on TV when I got to thinking...
"Y'know.. I really want to marry an Italian."
You don't meet many Italians down in Miami. Maybe that's why I need to move to New York. Or maybe.. If I could meet one that still lives in Italy.. Oooh, that would be nice..
The Italians.. They're handsome. And they got that dark hair that I like. But aside from that, the culture.. I just love the familiarity of everything Italian. It's my heritage. I grew up with this stuff. And I LOVE Italian relatives. Like, real, true, authentic, just dripping with Italian heritage relatives. The way they talk. The way they smile. They way they cook. The way they welcome you with open arms in such a celebatory fashion.
I've been spending all this time going for the opposite of what I grew up with. Trying to get away as far as possible, I suppose. Thinking, what is different must be what is better. First, I go for a Jew, when I grew up Catholic. Second.. Haitian. Absolutely unfamiliar territory. Maybe I just need to get back to my roots. Have some nostalgia and familiarity pull at my happy heart strings. And, with an Italian, I could be reminded of Italian traditions or learn more about them..
Is this awful? Am I having too prejudice a thought? It's not like I'm going to automatically reject any partner prospects because they're not Italian. I WILL, however, automatically reject the next Virgo that comes my way. Sorry, but.. I've had enough of those..
I dunno.. Falling in love with someone is one thing. When you marry, you gotta think of the WHOLE picture.
My first love was Italian.
Damn him. Stupid bastard. Perfect in every fucking way. How the hell will anyone measure up after him? 'Makes the search much more difficult, y'know..
It's like the gods decided to play a joke on me and dump everything I've ever wanted right in front of me way too early, before I was ready, or before I had the chance to learn some very important life lessons.
Like giving a fancy car to a baby. They won't know what to do with it. They're not gonna know it's the car they've always wanted. And by the time they might be ready, that car's already 16 years old. And no maintenance being done or NOTHING. 'Cuz they're a BABY. And babies don't have MONEY. But they try to drive that sucker ANYWAY. Probably banged it up a bit. So now when they want it, they're left SCREWED.
Just like me.
**
Huh? What's that you say? I'm already married?
Oh, poo, I say to you. Now that's just silly-talk.
**
P.S. I'm up because I can't SLEEP.
P.P.S. It was discussed with Mr.A this evening: If I could sleep with any celebrity besides Johnny Depp, it would be--- Hal Sparks or Vince Vaughn. Yum.
LJ