If there ever was a time for me to start doing speed.. now's the time.
Seriously, I don't know how I'm supposed to survive this week. I've been "uber" stressed for the past several weeks. Freaking out and things of that nature. Each week was more and more miserable. But this coming week is like "do or die" week. But, for some reason.. I've been very calm this weekend. My heart hasn't been pounding in my chest, I haven't been pulling out my hair or started to cry yet. Something like.. the calm before the storm.
November 3rd has been having an eerie ominous tone as I've been approaching it. That date has been echoing in my head for some reason. Maybe because so many things are due that day. But I also kinda feel like something really bad is going to happen that day. Something that would prevent me from having to worry about the rest of the meaningless shit that's due or I have to do.
November 3rd is tomorrow.
We'll see when nothing happens.
But here's some of the things I should be worrying about for this week:
- A marketing exam I'm far from prepared for on Monday
- Two java programs I've barely looked at due on Monday
- An impossible group project and paper due on Wednesday
- A statistics exam for which I haven't even opened the book for on Thursday
I thought there was more. So far, my priority was getting my section of the group paper done by tonight. That takes a lot of effort on my part, though, because I'm very slow on papers. I have to know every single little piece of information related to what I'm writing, whether it's applicable or not, just so I can soak it all in.. and then start writing like I know what I'm talking about. Because of this, I haven't been able to study for marketing or work on java.. two very time-consuming tasks, also.
There's not enough in my head to pass around for these different classes.
I don't know how I'm going to do it.
And then there's the impending threat of failing a class. I need at least a C average to keep my scholarship. And I've been so worried about throwing that average.. What if I fail, and then I don't have a way to pay for classes, which trickles down to not having a way to pay for a place to live.. and so on and so forth. All this pressure.. There is such an immense amount of pressure and so little room for failure. It doesn't seem fair to have to go about it this way.. And then I look at people around me.. and I wonder how the hell they have time and energy to go out, party, or even participate in school events so much. I mean, who has time for a Homecoming game or a dance?
*shrug*
I dunno..
LJ