So I survived the 3rd. As well as the 4th, 5th, & 6th. Somewhat. I never got those Java programs done.. I turned in a skeleton of code that didn't work for just one of the programs. On the 3rd, I was running late for the bus/shuttle to south campus. I might have made it just on time, but I would've had to wave the bus down.. And I didn't want that guy yelling at me again.. So I decided I'd drive.
And it was raining.. and I was thinking the whole way there..
This is it.
I'm gonna die or get in a really bad accident in the rain.
Honestly, besides being SICK of driving and SICK of having to drive the car I have... I really don't feel safe when I drive anymore. What with my eye-sight going bad.. my increasing inability to focus or concentrate.. easily distracted.. I'm a mess. I shouldn't be driving. But no one else will drive that fucking beast of a car I have.
And.. I dunno.. Blah blah blah..
But I survived.
Wednesday was awful. That was the day the group project was due. We were able to turn in the paper.. And the line-up of presentations [the professor wrote it on the board] was going to be FINE.. if 2 groups before us weren't unable to present. Which whiddled down to us on the first day. Our group wasn't prepared. No way we could've survived it. So we had to pass and lose some points. Which is really unfair because we've already talked with the professor about all the problems we were having as a group. But whatever..
And after listening to 3 presentations.. I feel even worse about our group. I've convinced myself we did it all wrong. And the questions that people in the rest of the class ask.. I most assuredly would not be able to answer questions like that.. and I did most of the work..
So.. I dunno, man.. This class was way over my head from the get-go. But I couldn't drop it or I'd lose my scholarship for the semester. And now I'm wondering.. which would have been worse? Not being able to pay for this semester? Or.. not being able to pay for next semester when I lose the scholarship because I failed a class which destroyed my GPA??
I can't go through with the presentation. Even if I have to, like..
LJ