Bang, bang, he shot me down
Bang, bang, I hit the ground
Bang, bang, that awful sound
Bang, bang, my baby shot me down...
I haven't much to say.
I feel like I'm in a hail storm right now. Life is pelting things at me from every direction. I take the bad with some good. I've been sick since Thursday. My throat was sore, then it was swollen and sore, then it wasn't sore anymore but it was still swollen, and now.. the swelling has gone down some, but it sore again, feels dry and crackly and I have an awful tickling cough. On top of being sick, I somehow how to continue to manage all the end-of-the-term projects, papers, essays, final exams, etc. I had only four hours sleep last night working on a number of things that were due today. I'm so tired.. I still don't get a break, though.. because I still have an online quiz and paper due by Saturday night. And it goes on from there..
The good.. 141.5 pounds and counting.. I'm appreciating the simple delight of seeing the bones/cartilage raise on the back of my hand when I move my fingers. A lifetime of chubby hands with dimples will make you take pleasure in such silly things..
But more bad.. there appears to be a spider bite on my thigh. The circle of hot redness around the bite keeps getting bigger. I don't know if I should be worried yet.
A week-long swollen sore throat and an ever-growing spider bite. My body feels like it's rejecting something.. tired from the fight.. health insurance would be nice right about now..
Inwardly, I don't know what to expect anymore. Lexapro isn't doing shit. I can't find anything enjoyable to do with myself.
I'm doing too much hiding.. I can feel it. I'm fighting off any opportunity to get close to anyone. There is too much I don't trust. Too much I fear.
Will I pass this semester? Will the paperwork ever go through for me to be fully admitted into the College of Business? Will I ever graduate? Why won't he like me the way I like him?
heh.
So what would make me smile today?
Hrm.. how 'bout some fried chicken.
LJ