there wasn't a christmas this year.
or was there..?
i mentioned to my grandmother that it just didn't feel like christmas this year. i wanted to say more about that, but i was at a loss for words.
"there was something missing, right..?" she said.
"yeah.."
that was the best way of putting it, i suppose. something definitely missing. or maybe a lot of somethings. i dunno. but i just didn't feel any of it. and that's something to be sad about.
christmas eve and christmas day were definitely very nice, don't get me wrong. i talked and bonded more with my smoking aunts and uncles on christmas eve, as we had our own little party out on the porch. and it was kinda cute-- everyone who was on their way to go out on the back porch, to the non-smokers we were "checking the weather." i love stuff like that. i don't know why.. and i was gossiping with my aunt elaine about my new boyfriend. i'm always full of craziness, i guess. first i marry someone and no one knows about it. now i'm with someone 5 years older than me and lives more than a thousand miles away.
not that he's a thousand miles away today..
but i went off on a tangent. christmas day was also very enjoyable, spending it with my parents, grandmother, brother and his girlfriend. the day was smooth and happy. and my mom broke out her accordian for the second time. and we sang songs. my brother was making us laugh while doing a perfect rendition of "all i want for christmas is my two front teeth" and also having his voice make dogs and ducks sing songs like "jingle bells."
yeah. well. i dunno.
LJ